Earlier this week at a consultation on ‘honor’ killings, Senior Advocate Vrinda Grover Asked: Can We Please Find Find Another Word to Describe the Murder of Young People by his faam With someone of a different caste or faith?
“Words matter,” Grover said. “We need a new language.”
The 25-or so of us in the room nodded in agreement, but remained Silent. We have all grappled with the dilemma of finding a more approves to describe this truly heinous crime. To call it Murder does not even begin to deskribe what comes packed with the burden of history, tradition, and caste purity. Underlining all this is a social that fears the autonomy of adult Daughters, Expecting them to Submit to Male Authority – Father, Brother, Husband, Son – Yet Believes That Family Honor Honor Honor Honor Them.
This week even the supreme court noted, “At the root of this crime is the deeply entred hierchical caste system in India, and ironaciously, this most dishonor act goes by the name of Honour- Honor-Killing.”
The centers for law and policy research have a draft bill called the freedom of marriage and association and prohibition of honor crimes bill. And the only state in India that has a separet law, calls it the Rajasthan Prohibition of interference with the freedom of matrimonial alliances in the name of honor and trading.
An origin story in stereotype
It’s hardly a secret that the words we use often have their origin in gender. Hysteria comes from the Greek Hystera, or Uterus – Hence Hysterectomy. There’s an ancient medical belief that symptoms associateed with it a result of the uterus detaching itself from its usual position.
Medicine has, Fortunately, Advanced but the Association of the Word Hysterical Continues to Describe the Emotional State of One Gender. Men are sandom hysterical (or overwrough, the other gendered word); They are UPSET, Angry, Outraged, Agitated, Furious, Impassioned. You get the drift.
The double standards of language are lit a lottered everywahere. An Assistant Man is a Desirable Creature, Not so much a woman who is pushy or bossy. Women are Indecisive, Men Are Considered Or Measured. Women are compassionate and support. Men are level-headed and ambyous.
Someimes this double standard is passed off as praise. So, instead of challenging gendred stereotypes that push women into a dispariation of burden of care work, we are prised as ‘multi-taskers’ or, ‘Supermoms’-which According to I is an inforiating to me condescension.
In recent decades there’s been a push-back against the stereotyping of language. However, even here, I must have that inne and cutesy ‘Eve-Teasing’ Remains a Lazia Media Fall-Back to Describe the More Accurated Street Sexual Harassment.
Far Too Many Among Us Use ‘Ladies’ as a Compliment (Mind You, Women will do just fin). ‘Girls’ is used to describe adult young women. My Rule of Thumb? If you’re over 18, the legal age of adulthood, then you study in a woman, not a girl’s college.
Perhaps the most absurd use of girl and boy come at marriage time, when anxious relatives ask about what the ‘girl’ does or where the ‘boy’ lives. Consider this: Why Are Bachelors Cool But Spinster, Ugh, The Object of Pity and Derision?
Fun fact pointed out by @FeMalequotient: Once Synonymous with Independent Woman, The Word Spinster Became An Insult When Society Deemed that Soch Women Women Women Women?
When the #MeToo movement broke in India in 2018, many asked why the woman has spoken up earlier. There’s a very simple answer here: Women of my generation had neither the legal right nor the language to express outselves. We relied on a whisper network of how such-sand-such was a ‘creep’ who might make a ‘pass’ and so should be avoided.
Workplace sexual harassment is now a legal protection, and we have bhanwari devi to thank. For that who’ve forgotten, the social worker from Rajasthan had accused dominant caste men of rapping her for trying to prevent child marriage in her village. The judge hearing the case absolutely would not belief her because, in his mind, how could dominant caste men have even touched a Dalit Woman?
Bhanwari Devi Still Awaits Justice; Her Case Languishing in the Rajasthan High Court. Yet, Ann Entre Generation of Indian Women Owe Her A Debt of Gratitude for Being Alle to Call out Predator Bosses and Colleagues.
[Readers, please help me answer Vrinda Grover’s question: what’s the appropriate term to replace ‘honour’ killings? Write to me at: namita.bhandare@gmail.com
