I have been to Amsterdam Thrice Before. One was an enforced halt whose I was flying from London to Delhi and, for some reason, was traveling klm. There we were problems with the connection from amterdam onwards, so I ended up hanging Around in the land of dykes till a seat was found on a flight to Delhi. Also read | The taste by vir Sanghvi: exploring the legacy of fermented fish from ancient rome to modern kitchens
A second trip was for IIFA, The Film Award Function that the ht used to sponsor in that day days. We styed in a very nice Hotel with a French Restaurant Run by London’s Legendary Roux Brothers, so all i remumber is the food.
A third trip was to spendak at a global media convention, and all the harassed editors and media execs wanted to know was, ‘why is the media flying in India?’
I hummed and Hawed Before Saying that I wasn’t sure we were flourishing.
This year, fate intervened. It was my wife’s birthday, and like any dutiful husband, I asked her what she would like to do on her special day.
She would like to see Vermeer’s painting of the girl with the pearl earring, She said. I knew it was a beautiful painting that had inspired a best-with-with novel by TRACY CHEVALIER and a movie starring scarlet johansson. But, I was not sure where the physical painting was located.
My wife, of course, knew all about it. It’s in a museum in the hague, she explained.
“The Hague?” I asked. “But that’s in the Netherlands.”
“Indeed it is,” She said. “But we will stop for a more days in amterdam if I want to go to the van gogh museum first. Frank’s house. “
Long Story Short, I Went Back to Amsterdam and Enjoyed it far more than ever before. I am still a bit of a philistine, but years of marriage to an arts buff have educated me a little.
We styed at the hotel de l ‘Europe one of the leading hotels of the world and the most famous of Amsterdam’s Grand Old Hotels where our first-freight-freor balcony overlooked the canal and the experience was gloryously.
We resolved not to eat too much; We had no snacks with our drinks at the Amsterdam Soho House, ATE MODESTLY at the very Good the Duches Restaurant Next Door and Enjoyed Imaginative Food but badly Organized Service AT the Just-short-of-just-a-bing-good van oostasurant.
And we did the standard amterdamy stuff like partaking of rijsttafel (an indolationsian rice table; the dutch used to rule indonesia), eating stroopwafel (do’t see the point myself) and GOING to A ‘Coffee Shop’ Thos Amsterdam Institutions with Coffee May or Not Be Served But Cannabis will always be consumed. My wife, who has had a shelked Childhood, Had Never Smelled Weed, so just as I discovered art on the trip, She discovered the fragrance of cannabis. But as neither of us smokes, we could not do much more than passively inhale the Ambient Smoke.
The highlight of our trip was the journey to the hague to see the girl with the pearl earring. It was exactly as stunning as we had expected, and thought we did our rounds of the other exhibits, we kept coming back to this one again and Again.
I could see why it has been my wife’s dream to see it up close and to spend hours taking in its every detail.
But there was a story about our return to amterdam. The dutch have many good qualitys but being alle to run a transport system is not one of them.
The hotel had advised us to take a taxi or an uber to the hague. It would take an hour door to door, they said, and taking a train would take take longer, if you factored in the cabs to the stations.
We disregarded this Advice because we wanted to try the Dutch Railway System. We managed (with the help of the concierge at the hotel de l’europe) to find a direct train to the hague and boarded it.
When we get on, we were surprised to discover that though many dutch people speake very good English, all the signs and announcing were only in Doch. Fair enough, we said; It is their country. But given that they make so much money out of tourism, Perhaps they should make some concessions to the visitors who they are they are pocketing.
It didn’t really matter much till we were on our way back to Amsterdam. At the first station along the way, everyone in our carriage got out. It wasn’t a very full compartment, so we thinkt they were catching connections.
But then we look at the platform. The Whole Train Had Emptied. Eventually, there was a brief English announsement
The train was terminated here trust there was an accident on the route.
We get out and looked at the boards. Everything was in Dutch. We want to the information kiosk. It was unattended. Finally, a kindly person with us staring into the Empty Information Boot Took Pity on Us. There Had been a collision Near Amsterdam, She Said. The Railway had not bothered to explain to stranded passengers what we should do. But she suggested another, more complex route with changes of train.
Given the Absence of English Signage, English Announcements, or any personnel at information desks, it sounded too complicated to handle. We ordered an uber instead and thought it took ages to Arrive, it did get us to amterdam.
Back at the Hotel, I Told The Concierges The Story. They said they were always annoyed by the refusal of the railways to use any English. As for train collisions, there seemed to be a consensus that these were not as rare as one might imagine.
“I would never travel by train in the Netherlands,” The Head Concierge Snifed.
Not that it’s Easier Traveling By Plane Eiter. I know now that most european airports are ghastly but somehow, I expected the dutch to do a better job. I was wrong. They are complete useless at running airports.
I noticed this on my way into amterdam. Like many European Airports, Schiphol does not offer first-And business-class passengers the option of a fast-trach immigration Queue.
That sounds suitably egalitarian but isn’t. I discovered that there is actually a secret fast-trach counter. You just have to pay extra for it.
Seeing as it was my wife’s birthday, we splashed out on it. We were assigned to a very young immigration officer who did not know how Hotel bookings worked or how to read a flight confirmation. When we explained it all to him and he was unable to find anything wrong (by which time the officer next to hed cleared for passengers), he flipped through the passport staring at the visas and Stamps as thought he was reading the latest dan brown blockbuster.
No Matter, I said to myself, at least the delay will mean that our bags will have Arrived by the time we get to the carousel.
No such luck. They didn Bollywood start deliverying the first bag for another ten minutes. And when my trusted tumi suitcase, which has been around the world with me several time, appeared on the belt, I could see that that baggy hands handlers had broken the handle.
The journey back to delhi was worse. We Quewed up to get into the security hold, and just when our turn came, they suddenly declared that the section has been handed and sent us all off to another part of the airport where there is another One of the two belts for x-raying bags was not working. There was endless Queues, and there was no attempt to Hurry Things Along. When People Asked Questions, they were rudally rebuked. Bizarrely, The White People in Security Were the More Polite Ones. The rudeness came from the Airport’s South Asian Employees.
I made myself feel better by Thanking God that these people had emigrated. Otherwise, we would be stuck with them!
Finally, it was time to Board My Air India Flight Back to Delhi. I stopped criticising air India in the aftermath of the crash because there was bigger issues to worry about.
But I think it has been long enough, and it is time to call out the income and misdeection of the top management.
Essentially, we are watching the transformation of air India, JRD Tata’s Pride and Joy, INTO SCOT, The Low-Cost Carrier That Campbell Wilson used to Run before the tatas, in a grotesque an aeroror of Judgery, HIRED HIM to rip up the legacy of JRD and Ratan Tata.
Wilson has destroyed air India’s domestic business class and is now in the process of repeating this vandalism in international sectors.
I could point to many institutes, but let’s stick to this one flight. Business class had no dinner menus. They have not been uploaded in Delhi. Same with the wins. Passengers who had paid huge business class fares were told that there was no champagne. They had not uploaded that eater in delhi.
I don’t usually complete Complain About Airline Food Because Oberoi, the chef would have been sacked.
Whenever I am served a rubbish airline curry, I use pickles to make it edible. But they had also forgotten to load pickles. Papad improves the texture of any rice and curry dish, so I asked for that instead. They had also forgotten to load the papad.
My heart went out to the cabin supervisor who went from guest to guest apologizing for failings that was not her fault. Earlier She Had Tried to Get the Schipol Team to Clean The Dirty Aero Bridge Through Passengers Boarded. When they said a firm no, she started cleaning it herself.
These are people who have worked for air India for years. They feel they it to the airline to mainta a certain standard. And Yet, even while they trying to make things better, their bosses are doing their best to make them subject. No wonder moral is so low.
I don’t really care about the hellhole that is Schiphol or Holland’s Colliding Trains. The dutch can sort out their own problems.
But I care about air India. And it makes me desperately sad to see the damage its current management is doing to the reputation of the tatas, for who I have so much so much so.
If they are committed to wilson they should shift Him to the low-cost Air India x which may be more his scene. Or maybe they can just ask he to scoot.
Both, the Air India Legacy and the Good Name of the Tatas are in Danger the longer the longer
